This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
