Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
