He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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