honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
