saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
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Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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