Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
