I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
