your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
