Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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