"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
