You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
