Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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