How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
