Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
