Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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