im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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