I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize