What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
