At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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