so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
