I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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