Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
