I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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