so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
