Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
