My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
