is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
