I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Randomize
