drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
