You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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