"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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