I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
