He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
