She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
