Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
