I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
