Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
