What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
