I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
