It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
