i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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