He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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