Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
