this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
