sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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