You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
