the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize