i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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