Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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