it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
