sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
