Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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