First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
