Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
