Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
