yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
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That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good