Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (723) Bad night (4837)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

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  (615): I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know. http://tfl.nu/z1c6
  Replies (29) Good night (7927) Bad night (821)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign

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  (630): I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/tzlz
  Replies (18) Good night (4791) Bad night (779)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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  (469): I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d1jb
  Replies (9) Good night (896) Bad night (3034)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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  (901): Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out? http://tfl.nu/cfeo
  Replies (29) Good night (6035) Bad night (1180)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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  (406): I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money" http://tfl.nu/7mg6
  Replies (13) Good night (4992) Bad night (1256)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.

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  (724): I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head. http://tfl.nu/4vvd
  Replies (10) Good night (3814) Bad night (915)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4435) Bad night (1481)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?

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  (540): casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks? http://tfl.nu/0uf1
  Replies (16) Good night (2383) Bad night (1352)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway

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  (410): We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway http://tfl.nu/kcow
  Replies (11) Good night (2549) Bad night (793)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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  (828): I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since. http://tfl.nu/iexd
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (1283)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.

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  (518): I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed. http://tfl.nu/jame
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (761)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.

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  (765): Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown. http://tfl.nu/booj
  Replies (7) Good night (995) Bad night (462)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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  (773): It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11. http://tfl.nu/euda
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (309)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.

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  (360): Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/o30z
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (258)

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