All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.