Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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  (510): It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house... http://tfl.nu/3wgf
  Replies (6) Good night (3542) Bad night (709)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

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  (904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents http://tfl.nu/zd1e
  Replies (60) Good night (1684) Bad night (4825)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

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  (702): oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve http://tfl.nu/2910
  Replies (29) Good night (6138) Bad night (762)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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  (540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride http://tfl.nu/4fyt
  Replies (34) Good night (20957) Bad night (1956)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.

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  (440): i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad. http://tfl.nu/60es
  Replies (16) Good night (1686) Bad night (5777)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2444) Bad night (1051)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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  (512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh
  Replies (13) Good night (750) Bad night (2198)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.

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  (916): Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap. http://tfl.nu/pbje
  Replies (9) Good night (547) Bad night (1751)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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  (303): We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes... http://tfl.nu/lait
  Replies (6) Good night (585) Bad night (1422)
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  (818): View more from California

  Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.

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  (818): Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy. http://tfl.nu/efkg
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (375)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order

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  (954): Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order http://tfl.nu/kxut
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (446)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle

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  (203): Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle http://tfl.nu/2uwk
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (377)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.

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  (804): The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it. http://tfl.nu/wu4y
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

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  (607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (405)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.

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  (330): This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus. http://tfl.nu/v7g7
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (295)

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