I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.