Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...