I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
