we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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