So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
