She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
