porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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