I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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