i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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